I have been pretty much stagnating when it comes to the projects and ideas that I’ve come up with over the past five years. I have gotten pretty far into the Overneath universe, but motivation is starting to wane, as it has in the past.
I do have an intellectual interest in each of these projects, but I’ve found it harder and harder over the past month or so to really get into the groove of working on these full time. It’s not that I don’t have time, as I’m just a Tuesday-Thursday student. I think it’s a matter of comfort.
Having a comfortable working space is something that every creative person needs. But I find myself getting too comfortable lately, and when I get comfortable, I tend to slack off a good bit. Crunch times for school or past jobs has created a fire of inspiration, but often times it creates a feeling of unease, and I end up going from procrastinator to past due in seconds flat.
I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do in my life. Personal things aside, as I found my soul mate and have had a child, I still don’t know what exactly I want to do with my career in the future. Sure, I’m taking classes for Web Development, but do I really want to be creating websites for people who don’t know what they want for the rest of my life?
I tend to wax philosophic at times, questioning minutiae of the world around me, putting vast amounts of energy processing the reasons behind these trivial things, and yet I’m not able to apply myself and excel in a field that I have some true potential.
This is the true meaning of having worthless genius, for which this blog is named. Truly, the question “What Good is a High IQ If You Don’t Use It” fits in this situation. Sure, I have potential, and have extreme amounts of focus when I put myself to the task, but I am still unable to get the lead out and really go forward and do good things.
I started this blog in the hopes of cultivating some passion to write more, and to really get my ideas out there. I have written a lot more in the past few months than I have ever in the past, but what good has it done? How many projects have I finished satisfactorily?
A lot of the ideas I’ve had lean themselves toward needing some form of funding in order to get off the ground. I have no disposable income to put into something like the projects I’ve outlined, but also, I have nothing tangible to show for them, therefore I am not able to try to find funding for these projects.
You’ve come this far in this self-important rant, so why not continue?
Alright, so I’ve determined that I have a problem, what do I do about it? Well, I have become increasingly dependent on online applications that force me to get my act together. As spotlighted here before, I started using GTDAgenda to keep my crap straight. While I haven’t fully transitioned into relying on my GTD
system, I am getting better, and I seem to have fewer and fewer things weighing on my mind lately.
Also, I’ve been relying on Slim Timer to keep track of the amount of time I spend on each task. This serves the dual purpose of allowing me to create some form of solid record of the times, dates and durations of my work on individual projects, as well as providing a way for me to get feedback that I’m actually accomplishing something. While the latter isn’t used publicly, it allows me to quickly keep my mind wrapped around the idea that I am spending time only on one project, and keeps me focused on the task at hand.
Using these tools in combination is a great way for me to get everything aligned, and to keep myself on task. The only real problem with using a system such as this is that there is no consistent need for me to rely on it. I can just as easily not open up Firefox to check my “Next Actions” list, and open up some other time-consuming program that keeps me from truly getting things done.
In trying to bring myself into reality, and to determine what I want to do over the next year, two years, five or even 10 years, I am beginning to use mind mapping tools online in order to brainstorm and figure out what my options are, and what would be needed to accomplish those missions.
With these tools in mind, I’m setting out on some new thought processes, and hoping that I can come up with some solid leads. Or, at least I can come up with some tangible advances in the projects that I’m currently working on.
It’s been a long time since I’ve taken a true personal inventory and decided that I wanted to change the fundamental way that my brain works in order to produce better results. I’m a little frightened, kinda antsy, and very hopeful that I can pull my stuff together and determine exactly what it is I want to do with my life.